Weddings are a great time. It’s impossible to have a bad time at a wedding. Well, actually it might be if you get left at the altar or your drunk uncle passes out on the dance floor. I can see that being a bad time. Anyways, 95% of the time, they’re a blast. Everyone is singing, dancing, drinking, and having a great time. One of the most important aspects of a wedding is the music. Whether you have a band or DJ (I’m Team DJ 100%), song selection is key. You can’t have a love song playing after dinner. “Uptown Funk” should be the song to get people back on the dance floor.
The FiveThirtyEight crew just released a study about the most banned wedding songs. For starters, I had no idea this was a thing until my older sister had a wedding and told me about the songs she banned. I’ll get this out of the way now. She banned “Shout.” It was a controversial decision for sure, but the bride can do whatever the hell she wants so Shout got the ax. I decided to go through the whole list and see what songs should stay on the list and what songs should be taken off. To my future bride, don’t kill me if you disagree with these rankings. I love you.
Notable Songs That Should Stay On The Banned List
- Chicken Dance – Fireable offense if the DJ plays the chicken dance.
- Cha-Cha Slide – Go back to high school.
- Hokey Pokey – This isn’t kindergarten.
- Cotton Eye Joe – Save it for Yankees games.
- Turn Down for What – I’m not trying to make my Grandma dance.
- Mony Mony – This is a wedding song?
- Booti Call – lol no thanks.
- Save a Horse (Ride a Cowboy) – I like this song, but my family does not like country music.
- Gangnam Style – This is still a thing?
- All of Me – Blame the radio for ruining this song for me.
- Hotline Bling – Drake has 58390230438493 better songs than Hotline Bling.
- Shake It Off – Just like Drake, T Swift has 90432485948349590 better songs than Shake It Off.
- You Shook Me All Night Long – I don’t feel comfortable playing this.
Notable Songs That Should Stay Be Taken Off The Banned List
- Love Shack – Fireable offense if this is on the banned list.
- Shout – Most of my family likes Shout so it stays.
- Stayin’ Alive – Bee Gees can do no wrong.
- Uptown Funk – The best song to put on to get people on the dance floor after dinner.
- What Do You Mean? – This isn’t a wedding song, but it shouldn’t be banned.
- Bohemian Rhapsody – Banning a Freddie Mercury song? I won’t have it.
- Footloose – LET’S DANCEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
- Call Me Maybe – Top 10 pop song ever.
- Hey Ya! – Andre 3000 will bring my dad to his feet.
- My Heart Will Go On – I WOULD DIE FOR CELINE DION.
I can’t wait to plan the music at my wedding in 20 years when I finally meet someone who wants to marry me!!!!!!!
Tweet me your songs at @danny_giro