Can you imagine buying a ring, getting down on one knee, and asking someone to marry you? I can’t! It’s actually a crazy thought to comprehend. I know that I will do it one day, let’s make that clear. There’s a solid chance it happens before 30, which is scary to think about. I eat chocolate off of my stomach and drool in my sleep. You think I’m ready for marriage? Time for the recap.
Season 1, Episode 12: “JWoww vs. The Proposal”
– Uncle Nino!!!!!!!!!!!!! The OG, the original guido.
– Vinny’s mother is a Saint. The fact that she cleaned that house is a testament to her character. You have to appreciate a great Italian mother.
– Uncle Nino is out of control. The cigar, the speedo, the thick accent. He reminds me of an Italian Don Vito (RIP) from Viva La Bam. You can’t understand a word he says, but you laugh anyway because it’s so ridiculous. I also died when he called Ronnie “chunky.”
– *Insert line about how Situation always eats.* How much does this man weigh?
– Ronnie is in full panic mode. His life is falling apart and no one knows how to handle it. Ronnie saying that Jen cheated on him was a “bombshell,” but it does not surprise me whatsoever. Both of them seem toxic especially after their fight on IG. Ronnie and Jen think they love each other when in all actuality, they love the idea of each other. Honestly, it’s sad.
– Engagement time. I’m siding towards Team Mike when it comes to his battle between JWoww. I can’t pick out pants that fit, let alone an engagement ring. Mike should have a few ideas for the actual proposal, but it’s Mike we’re talking about. The only care in the world for this man used to be his abs. Now, it’s the menu at dinnertime. So he needs some help and clearly, the girls want in. Jenni is a boss and she scares me because she could destroy me so I definitely would not get on her bad side.
– I miss this side of the Situation.
– Lauren is a GORGEOUS. Situation is a lucky man. Not only is she a smoke, but she takes care of the kid that is Mike. That’s a win-win right there.
– Ronnie is soooooooooooo soft for telling Jenni that Mike was going to pie her in the face. “Bros Before Word that Rhymes with Bros (It’s 2018).” Everyone knows the saying. Snitches Get Stitches! That’s how it works. That’s the code. If you mess with the code, you need to be knocked out. By order of The Bro Code, Mike gets a free punch to Ronnie’s face.
P.S. I laughed when Ronnie snitched. I appreciate the pot being stirred.
– Jenni, why? You were having such a great season! Don’t be a baby. It would’ve been a harmless prank. No need to get upset about it. Besides, you should be turning your attention towards the snitch aka Ron.
– Mike, RUN FOR THE HILLS!
– If I were Mike, I would just let Ronnie have his fun because when he gets home, the fun is over.
– And cue the sob story.
– Tune in next week to see if Lauren says Yes…